I’ve learned something about the hearts of little boys (and men in general) by watching my little niños here in Bolivia.
Every boy needs a woman to give flowers to.
I’m convinced it’s as fulfilling for the boy to give flowers as it is for the woman to receive them.
Here’s why I say that…
I never thought about it, but my childhood was full of little indications that a strong, gentle woman was watching out for me. My laundry was always clean, folded, and waiting for me on my bed. My pants were mended, my stomach filled, and my collar straightened (if not by Mom, then by another woman at church in the row behind me). These were little subconscious reminders that I was cared for and secure–that I had a mother.
Here at the children’s home, we struggle between the tension of wanting the boys to learn responsibility while not wanting to rob them of that special care and attention only a woman can give.
Is having them do things such as their own laundry (paltry amounts every day), a creative way to teach them responsibility and independence or are we taking away a seemingly insignificant but important woman’s touch in their lives?
Of course, Father figures (in this case, me and Levi) should be gentle and caring. The myth leftover from the 60s of masculinity being about Schwarzenegger muscles and brute power is absolute rubbish. True masculinity is gentle and caring. Still, for heaven’s sake, I can’t be a mother to these boys nor should I try to be.