My therapist recently pointed out that I avoid talking about certain topics.
This didn’t surprise me. I’ve been doing that for years.
When there’s something I don’t know how to process, I just shut it down and run away. Which usually means I turn on a podcast or Netflix or Amazon Prime. Sometimes it’s just easier to escape what scares me than to face it head on.
I think this is why I’ve found it so hard to write any long form posts or do any vlogging over the past year or so. For example, last Saturday I recorded a vlog and rambled on for twenty minutes about nothing. I felt lost in my own head.
That sounds melodramatic, I know, but it’s true. That’s kind of how my brain is right now in this season of life. I have lots and lots of thoughts and feelings but I’m kind of lost as to what to do or where to go with it all.
Which is terrifying in itself because my job is literally to process thoughts. To think about ideas and talk about it on paper… yet that’s exactly what I’ve been running away from.
I’ve never actually put it in those terms before. (I’m getting this for the first time with you guys!) This past year, I’ve been facing the biggest writer’s block of my life and maybe the reason is because my brain is loaded down with all kinds of mental “laundry,” as it were, that I’m refusing to deal with.
It’s hard to get work done when your workspace is completely cluttered with non-work related junk. (In this scenario, the workspace is my brain.)