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Against Modernity

/ Chris / Leave a comment

I wonder if in the war against modernity and it’s Enlightenment forbearers, the church hasn’t, in fact, become a slave to them.

I’ve found in my own journey, chasing knowledge (one could say, certainty) has thwarted my faith as often as it has nurtured it.

And I find it interesting that as essential as “faith” seems like it should be to “The Faith,” we often try to rationalize and materialize the really complicated and intangible tenants of Christianity. It’s almost like we’re trying to take the faith out of our faith.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there are excellent arguments for a rational creator who oversees and intimately involves himself with life on Earth… but there are good arguments to disprove my apologetic.

At the end of the day, I’d be foolish to assert that my motivations for following Yahweh as revealed by Jesus in the New Testament are purely formed out of impartial, well-reasoned conclusions.

For better or worse, I do think the evidence slants towards the existence of at the very least, a god (billions of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and other religions contemporary and ancient, seem to agree). However, why I am biased toward believing Christian apologies rather than Jewish or Muslim is largely anecdotal experience and social surroundings which have shaped me to see the message of Jesus as compelling. How could I deny this and remain intellectually honest?

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Free Fall

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Surrender can be a beautiful thing.

When things finally click and you realize there is just so much out of your control

And no matter how much goes wrong, you’re going to be alright.

I find great comfort in the idea that Christ is

omnipotent
omniscient
omnibenevolent

In other words he’s all powerful, all knowing, and perfectly and unlimitedly good.

So, surrendering *to* Jesus, makes complete sense to me in the context of my faith.

BUT.

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Surpassing Knowledge

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I still get queasy in the pit of my stomach anytime I identify myself as “deconstructing.” I don’t like the term because of what people assume it means and the place it has taken in the conversation. More than that, I dislike the process and the fact that I came to a place where I felt the process was necessary. Parsing through your theology feels destabilizing. To stay intentional and grounded in identifying what you still believe, what you no longer believe, and what needs to be tweaked takes a toll, mentally.

What you believe about hell, for example, has some people condemning you to it. Remember that time John Piper Twitter-excommunicated Rob Bell for reexamining his hell beliefs? That happens a lot, for beliefs much smaller than hell. So it’s hard to take an honest-to-god review of your beliefs about hell when, in the back of your mind, there remains this nagging fear that where you come out on it may affect your eternal salvation. Or, more viscerally, your place in a community. My understanding is that eternal life comes as I consent to the work and lordship of Jesus. You don’t need full understanding or even enlightenment style, fully rationalized belief in order to consent.

Nevertheless, here is where I find myself, with a queasy stomach, parsing through my theology, wondering how patient Jesus really is.

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So Help Me God, I Will Go Nowhere Else

/ Chris / 1 Comment
I have no interest in maintaining traditional beliefs or values simply for the sake of carrying on tradition or because my parents taught me that way.
 
Neither do I have any interest in throwing away values and beliefs or adopting a progressive worldview simply because I am disgruntled with people in my past or with theological systems or with churches.
 
Nor am I interested in following the ever-restless crowd or my ever-fickle feelings.
 
What I am interested in is following Jesus.
 
I want Jesus. I want all of Jesus. And I want Jesus to have all of me. My entire heart, body, mind, and theology.
 
I will stand where He stands as revealed by the Holy Spirit in Scripture; I will go where he goes; and I will stay where he stays; and so help me God, I will go nowhere else.
 

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When You Don’t Want God

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Have you ever walked into a house while someone is cooking a meal? Think of Thanksgiving day when your mom is preparing that delectable array of dishes and the aroma saturates the entire house.

Even if you aren’t hungry before, you are once you’ve smelled the delicious food! In fact, if you’re like me, you’re hungry right now just thinking about it!

A while ago, some of my friends and I were discussing what it means to be “hungry for God.”

We talked about how we often ask God to make us more “hungry for him”–to “help us want him more,” as we often put it.

I’ve said this a lot and I always mean it in a good way. I usually say it like a transparent plea before God, being honest about how I feel while also expressing my desire to love Him more. And I think this is often appropriate.

But my friend Vince wondered what it is like for God to hear us pray “Help me want you more.”

Imagine being the most beautiful Person to ever exist, the most glorious Concept in the universe, the most desirable Companion–imagine being all that and having people say “I still don’t want You enough, help me want You more.”

Vince thought perhaps the best question is not “Do you want God?” but rather “Have you seen God?”

Because just like smelling a delicious Thanksgiving meal stirs up hunger, seeing God stirs a longing for more of Him. The more you see Jesus, the more you desire Him.

Today, instead of asking God to increase our desire for Him, let’s ask Him to reveal Himself to us.

I think that’s what will really stir our desire for more.

“One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.” – Psalm 27:4

Blessings,
C.D.

Knowing God’s Will and Becoming Passionate About Him

/ Chris / 2 Comments

If God told us exactly what we should do for the next years, I think it would be easy for us to check out and not actually depend on the Father and learn to trust and love Him. His desire is for relationships with His children, not business partnerships.

Instead He says “Seek first my kingdom by loving me and doing good works, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

This requires constant trust in Papa and dependance on His Spirit to guide us. This produces relationship which produces love. It allows us to see that He is trustworthy–that Jesus is faithful and finishes what He started.

Wise men say the “weight of God’s glory” is a fancy way of saying “God’s value.” What is God’s value? Immeasruable!

All of that–love, dependability, commitment, grace–is the weight of God’s glory, His value. That is what He wants the world to see: how valuable He is–not as a business partner, not as a boyfriend, not as a slave master, not as a divine Santa Claus–but as a committed, dependable, loving Father.

He’s not up there grumbling, “Christopher’s not doing anything significant. Man, I really regret creating him. He’s just sitting on his bum looking at Facebook. Holy Spirit, give Him a little kick to get started! Jesus, are you sure this is one we want serving us? Look at how he keeps sinning! I’m going to withhold my favor and pleasure from him and not tell him my one specific purpose for his life until he shows himself committed and faithful.”

NOO!! That’s not the Father’s attitude AT ALL! Not an ounce of that is true! The Father is saying “I want to show MY glory through YOUR personality, because I absolutely love you and I love the way I created you! If you have sinned, please let me cleanse you because I don’t want ANYTHING to separate us EVER AGAIN.”

He says “I love you child” before we ever say “I love you Daddy.” He says “Let’s do something together” before we ever say “I want you in my life.” He’s not waiting for us to straighten things out, rather He’s saying “Let’s go on an adventure together and maybe in the meantime, we can work through some of these problems.”

Through this kind of Fathering, His glory is made known to us and those who see us. He isn’t glorified by how clean and unwrinkled we are, He is glorified by how good, patient, just, holy and faithful HE is and how alive we are.

So instead of waiting around for a moment when your life-purpose becomes crystal clear, start seeking God’s kingdom first and doing the good works already before you and give Papa the chance to “take care of the rest.”

Do you feel apathetic toward God? Like you don’t love Him as much as you should? Do something and trust Him to guide you, because it is through relational interaction that love develops and passion is stirred.

C.D.

When a Cynic Looks for Jesus Under Rocks

/ Chris / 4 Comments

Most people probably do not realize this, but I’ve become somewhat cynical over the past several years, looking for Jesus under rocks and wearing really smelly shoes.

I feel tremendously inadequate to follow Jesus and often doubt my salvation. Some people seem so confident in their theology, as if having proper theology is what makes one right with God. I imagine them watching and waiting, with their boxes and labels, for me to make a mistake.

I stumble through life trying to figure things out, trying to find Jesus—because He seems like a good guy—under every rock and through every valley. I question things that don’t make sense, and want to crush things that hurt me.

All the while, I have the feeling that someone is waiting around the corner, waiting for me to make a wrong turn so they can box me up and label me as “doubter,” “heretic,” “legalist,” “angry,” “liberal,” “conservative”—whatever path I happen to cross in my stumbling journey—and then ignore me.

Sometimes I wonder if I can trust anyone–will everyone simply marginalize (box and label) me? Because that’s my greatest fear: to be relegated to a cold dark box somewhere, left to jabber to myself. Is there anyone who won’t hurt me at some point? Who won’t let me down and turn out to be terribly flawed like the rest of us?

I guess that’s why I look for Jesus. But I don’t even do that very well.

Sometimes I flip over a rock to see if Jesus is there (for some reason I always think He’s hiding) but instead of moving on to the next rock, or looking up into the next tree, or around the next bend, I just sit down and give up.

Looking for Jesus is so hard.

I weep right now as I write this because I know in my heart that it is not hard to find Jesus. I know that I could just go over and sit on the edge of my bed and He’d be sitting there just waiting to talk. I know in my heart that Jesus loves me and even likes me. I know this in my heart. I cry like a little baby because I know it in my heart, but I don’t feel it in my soul, or believe it in my head.

How could someone as important as Jesus actually like a bumbling fool who doesn’t even always want to find Him. Sometimes it feels as if Jesus and I are playing hide-and-go-seek and I lose interest and go play with my toys instead of looking for Jesus. He then, has to come find me (playing with my toys) and we start the game all over again.

I don’t know why someone as important as Jesus keeps looking for a bumbling fool, but that doesn’t really matter. What really baffles me is why I keep losing interest in looking for someone as important as Jesus.

Maybe it is because I’m a bumbling fool.

It is in the rare moments of starting to believe that Jesus really does love me as I am, not as I should be, that I am totally surrendered to whatever He wants me to do. People will do ANYTHING for someone they know loves them unconditionally.

Yet, when I say this, I feel the critical eye of righteous people and imagine they say “You should love Jesus whether He loves you or not. You should want Jesus whether you feel love or not.”

I guess that’s true. But what’s amazing is that seemingly logical expectation is not in Scripture! If anything, there is the opposite. Scripture is full of reminder after reminder to not forget God’s everlasting love. It is almost as if God is saying “My love is the very reason you should follow me!” The Bible says it is God’s kindness which leads us to repentance and His love which enables us to love Him back.

The truth is, I am an arrogant, self-righteous, self-sufficient, bumbling fool. There are times my thoughts and actions smell as bad as my shoes.

But somehow, somewhere, the love and grace of Jesus have cleansed and are cleansing my soul, washing away its filth and filling it with sweet fragrance. I don’t want to react to good people or true theology, I don’t want to deny Christ, I don’t want to live in apathy; but I also don’t think cleaning up those dirty areas will incur more grace from God. Rather, I am convinced more grace from God will incur a cleansing of my soul.

Please God, give me more grace, more holiness, more love. Give me more Jesus.

C.D.

Why Reading the Bible Is Not Enough

/ Chris / 3 Comments

I believe the Bible to be inspired by God, if nothing else because of its incredible, unprecedented preservation. That alone is a miracle. I make it a priority to spend time reading it everyday. But merely reading a copy of the Bible or learning the Greek and Hebrew or having theological discussions about certain passages does not mean you have actually studied God’s word.

It took three centuries for Christians to have access to what we now consider the inspired Word of God, and another millennium before it was available to the masses. This tells me that there is a whole lot more to studying God’s word than merely reading the pages of a book. In order to understand which writings were true and what to believe, early Christians had to rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit (personally and through other believers). They had to actually KNOW Jesus: both through conversation (prayer) and experience.

Jesus Christ is the Word of God (John 1:1,14). He is the perfect representation of God (Heb. 1:3; Col. 1:15). God’s word, His message, to the world is, simply, Christ.
 
To truly study the Word of God, we must intently focus on Jesus (James 1:25). This primarily comes through prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit who only says what Jesus says (John 16:13).
 
Reading and being immersed in the Bible is powerful and essential but should be done with prayer and discernment from the Spirit because that is the primary communication between God and man. You cannot understand the truth of the Bible unless the Spirit illuminates it to you.
 
I cannot stress, enough, my belief that the Bible is inspired by God and should be taken literally and COMPLETELY. You can be certain that God will not tell you to do something which contradicts the absolute truth He has already spoken through the Bible. But knowing the Bible does NOT mean you know Christ. It may lead you to a deeper understanding of who Christ is and His characteristics, just as a detailed map of LA helps me get around. But studying a map is not equivalent with “getting around” and actually KNOWING Los Angeles. The Bible may be a love letter from God, which is pretty awesome, but no lovers are ever satisfied with only letters. They want real interaction.
 
C.D.

Divorcing Jesus

/ Chris / 3 Comments

If you haven’t noticed, there is a problem with how the Church interacts with the world. They’re missing each other–and by all appearances, they hate each other.

But I don’t think the church needs to become more Hipper to grab people. Shortly after the early church days, the church became so hip that Constantine joined the Church and the government (Roman) into one holy union. (Kind of like a marriage, right?) You know what followed? Over a millennium of darkness.

Jesus was very intentional about accepting people where they were at, and He did this by loving and forgiving them.

But He had one condition: to receive the Life He had to offer, they had to accept Him. Jesus was very bold about Who He was and the need for people to accept Him to receive life. If people didn’t accept Him (and the life He offered), He didn’t denounce them or throw a tantrum, He simply wept and moved on, unoffended.

Why are we ashamed of Jesus? To be ashamed of Jesus is to be ashamed of love, acceptance, forgiveness and sacrifice! But I think that what scares us is His demands that we admit our own frailty and sinfulness, and that we worship God. This is humbling. But the pain and fear of surrender is incomparable to the peace and joy of walking closely with Almighty God.

Constantine married the world to the church, but to do that he divorced the church from Jesus Christ. Are we willing to do the same? Are we willing to forsake Jesus to please the world?

Constantine got darkness, and so will we. Without Jesus we have nothing…because Jesus is everything.

CD

Quit Being So Negative!

/ Chris / 2 Comments

How do you view God? Do you see Him as hard to please?

Consider this statement for a moment: You fall short of God’s grace and love and there is absolutely no way for you to ever please Him.

Sounds Biblical right? But how do you respond? Are you drawn to God? Does it quicken your heart to respond in repentance? Maybe. But most likely you feel discouraged. A subtle, subconscious feeling of hopelessness enters in and negative thinking is introduced into your mind.

The problem is that yes, the above statement is true, but only partially. You DO fall short of God’s grace and love—but He extends it ANYWAYS. There IS absolutely no way for you to ever please God ON YOUR OWN STRENGTH. God finds much pleasure in you when the blood of Jesus Christ has COMPLETELY cleansed you of anything that would displease God.

So when these thoughts run through our minds, we slowly become discouraged and lose interest in God. We see daily just how much we fall short. We feel condemned, fearful, and hopeless. And we either give up, or start living out of a drive to please God.

God does not operate through negativity. SO STOP IT! Just stop.

The King came to His enemies, not to condemn, but to LOVE. In response to His love and KINDNESS, we, His enemies, forsake our old lives and become His friends. Once we are His friends, He makes us His very own children. And as His children, we are given power, bravery, endless access to His throne, and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Fear, doubt, and condemnation are not of God’s kingdom so STOP allowing them to reign in your mind. You have the freedom to do this. Christ has given you permission to quit thinking negatively about yourself and others.

Jesus cares for you. Give HIM your fear, doubt, condemnation, lust, pride, unforgiveness, and all your negativity. You were lost and deserve God’s wrath, but Christ took that upon Himself. He has found and freed you. Think on THAT! Rejoice. You are free to rejoice! Get rid of whatever is keeping you from joy, trust God AND REJOICE!

When I allow this truth to reign in my heart, I am DRAWN to Christ: I am drawn to pray and to read His word; to love and serve Him.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” – Philippians 4:8

“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge [condemn] the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” – John 3:17

“[The sinner] said, ‘No one [condemns me], Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.’ –John 8:11 ‘Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.’” – Romans 8:1

“We love [Him], because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

C.D.