I tied him to a tree Because he scares me. Uncontrollable, messy, angry I bound his hands behind his back, Stuffed his mouth with rags, And stood aside to see. There we stand, Staring at each other. At peace Stable No disturbance, No confrontations, Quietness. I turn around, To go toward town. But hear a sound behindly. There he stands, untied and free. Gosh darn, you little brat You've escaped me.
To water I’m bound weighed down by a sea root
That anchoring asphyx, unaccounted for ages.
Circling, swimming seething for freedom:
Trouble with chains won’t change my aversion
To dive and discover the depths of my heartbreak.
I settle for sand bars and selfish ambition
Swirling, twirling in twisted emotion
I’d forgotten my foot the feeling of roots
Keeping me close in comforting whirles.
From the bar someone bellowed “Below is your trouble”
“You’re stuck in a swirl, descend on the double.”
I scoffed at his two cents
The troubling trait as if traveling the chain
Could mitigate my malaise. Marauders be damned! Continue reading
I wonder if in the war against modernity and it’s Enlightenment forbearers, the church hasn’t, in fact, become a slave to them.
I’ve found in my own journey, chasing knowledge (one could say, certainty) has thwarted my faith as often as it has nurtured it.
And I find it interesting that as essential as “faith” seems like it should be to “The Faith,” we often try to rationalize and materialize the really complicated and intangible tenants of Christianity. It’s almost like we’re trying to take the faith out of our faith.
Don’t get me wrong, I think there are excellent arguments for a rational creator who oversees and intimately involves himself with life on Earth… but there are good arguments to disprove my apologetic.
At the end of the day, I’d be foolish to assert that my motivations for following Yahweh as revealed by Jesus in the New Testament are purely formed out of impartial, well-reasoned conclusions.
For better or worse, I do think the evidence slants towards the existence of at the very least, a god (billions of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and other religions contemporary and ancient, seem to agree). However, why I am biased toward believing Christian apologies rather than Jewish or Muslim is largely anecdotal experience and social surroundings which have shaped me to see the message of Jesus as compelling. How could I deny this and remain intellectually honest?
Continue readingSurrender can be a beautiful thing.
When things finally click and you realize there is just so much out of your control
And no matter how much goes wrong, you’re going to be alright.
I find great comfort in the idea that Christ is
omnipotent
omniscient
omnibenevolent
In other words he’s all powerful, all knowing, and perfectly and unlimitedly good.
So, surrendering *to* Jesus, makes complete sense to me in the context of my faith.
BUT.
Continue readingI still get queasy in the pit of my stomach anytime I identify myself as “deconstructing.” I don’t like the term because of what people assume it means and the place it has taken in the conversation. More than that, I dislike the process and the fact that I came to a place where I felt the process was necessary. Parsing through your theology feels destabilizing. To stay intentional and grounded in identifying what you still believe, what you no longer believe, and what needs to be tweaked takes a toll, mentally.
What you believe about hell, for example, has some people condemning you to it. Remember that time John Piper Twitter-excommunicated Rob Bell for reexamining his hell beliefs? That happens a lot, for beliefs much smaller than hell. So it’s hard to take an honest-to-god review of your beliefs about hell when, in the back of your mind, there remains this nagging fear that where you come out on it may affect your eternal salvation. Or, more viscerally, your place in a community. My understanding is that eternal life comes as I consent to the work and lordship of Jesus. You don’t need full understanding or even enlightenment style, fully rationalized belief in order to consent.
Nevertheless, here is where I find myself, with a queasy stomach, parsing through my theology, wondering how patient Jesus really is.
I guess what I’m learning is to be okay with sadness touching every strand of my life, if it wants to. That sounds painfully melancholy. I don’t mean to say I am going to go find Sadness and drag her into every memory, thought, and experience.
But when she shows up, I want to invite her in and acknowledge her presence. Believe it or not, being sad doesn’t have to take away from a parallel joy.
Why have we split joy and sadness into these opposing binaries? So often they seem to be presented as exclusionary. Of course, there may be times when we, for our own mental health, ought to set aside things like sadness and worry so that we can be fully present to our joy. And there may be times when we delay joy in order to allow our anger a voice.
But I propose these times are an exception.
This extends to more than just our interior lives.
Let me give you several examples to show what I mean by joy (or any “light” emotions) being in the same room as sadness (or any “dark” emotions).
If you’re wondering about whether it’s worth diving into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it can look pretty daunting. The Infinity Saga alone has 23 films, not to mention those about to begin releasing as the next storylines unfold.
This article is intended to break it down so you understand what is going on with the different movies as well as the greater, over-arching storyline of The Infinity Saga.
First thing to differentiate is the difference between the Marvel Cinematic Universe (the MCU) and any other Marvel-based film.
The MCU kicked off with Iron Man in May of 2008. This was the first movie made independently by Marvel Studios. Up until then, they had simply licensed out their characters to other studios and functioned as consultants. Iron Man was followed up by The Incredible Hulk a month later. Since then, every MCU film is based in a shared universe with overlapping characters and storylines. Any film based off of Marvel comic books up until 2008 is not considered a part of the official MCU.
The MCU has been the brain child of Kevin Feige, the President of Marvel studios who, with his team, has intricately planned the entire saga from the outset. Obviously, there’s been a lot of changes along the way, but by-and-large, it has followed his vision from the beginning.
Marvel releases each of their movies in what they call Phases. So far, there have been three complete phases and they make up what is now known as The Infinity Saga. In the list, I’ve also marked my recommendations and “must-sees.”
If you ever intend to watch Avengers: Infinity War or Avengers: Endgame and haven’t yet, stop now. You’re about to walk into a minefield of spoilers for both films. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Also, even if you’re not into superheroes, push through the nerdy weeds: I think you’ll still find it meaningful.
First, let me gush for a moment: Endgame is an absolutely beautiful film, not perfect (there’s a few things that don’t work), but it’s beautiful, nonetheless. It’s packed with incredible acting (RDJ gives his best MCU performance, in my opinion), great writing, just the right amount of fan-service, and well-delivered themes. It made me laugh, cry, and even jump out of my seat from excitement.
Endgame is about grief and ending. Particularly, grieving death, loss, and failure. It’s the final chapter of the twenty-two-film story Marvel has been telling since the original Iron Man in 2008 and it carries it to a close masterfully.
Endgame is just that: the “The End,” the closing script, the goodbye. And I couldn’t have asked for a better one.
I could go on but you should just watch the movie for yourself.
The thing that has most stuck with me since watching it–and, what kept coming to mind when I thought about reviewing this movie, was Thor’s story arc.
(Spoiler alert!)
Yes, Fat Thor.
Let me explain…
(Herein lie the spoilers.)
Please, preach to me the Gospel
Please tell me of my sin.
Because when I look inside me,
I feel the brokenness within.
Please, preach to me the Gospel
Please tell of the bloody Cross
Because when I look around me everywhere
I see how quickly I get lost.
It’s not a comfort to know I’m perfect
That lie, I can detect.
It’s a comfort to know that Jesus,
Carried my sin upon his back.
Bloodied, bruised, and broken
He suffered to make me whole.
So great has been my sin within.
So great the happiness I stole.
So please preach to me the Gospel
Speak not lightly of my wrongs.
For when I’ve faced it in the eyes
His love shows up so strong.